Just hearing him mention art school is enough to make me want to burst into tears on the spot. If it were just me here, I think, I could deal with all of this. I'd probably lose my mind, but I could come at them, fight with more abandon, because I wouldn't have to be worried about the fate of anyone else here. Instead, there's Prim, and there's Peeta, and the both of them were always too good for all of this. They should have gotten to have a life away from it — my sister a chance to have a normal childhood, Peeta to get to do something like go to art school, to really put his skill to good use. Creating rather than destroying, like I only ever seem to do.
I swallow the impulse down with a ragged breath, though. Falling apart now won't do us any good. We're a part of this, and there's no getting away from it. All we can do — all I can do — is try to make sure things don't go the same way they did before. That means holding myself together. That means preparing, planning, strategizing. That means taking Peeta on as an ally, though I don't think anything could get me to stop trying to protect him. I think we might actually work best that way.
He's right, anyway. I think of the wedding we had for Finnick and Annie, briefly, because that's all I can handle, and how powerful it felt, presenting an image of all of us joyous and seemingly carefree, not held back by fear of the Capitol. If we seem happy, they'll get frustrated, thinking their goal hasn't been achieved. That could be our greatest weapon right now. That, and the element of surprise it could give us. Acting like we aren't bothered by this gives us an opportunity to catch them off-guard in turn, being prepared when it will seem like we weren't. That is, if no one is watching us now. "Even like we think this is just something that happens here," I add. "Not something they did."
The strangest part is the idea of acting like we're friends. We've been plenty of things to each other, but I'm not sure that's one we've ever quite managed. It'll be worth it, though. Just having him in my life would be.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-11-29 05:54 am (UTC)I swallow the impulse down with a ragged breath, though. Falling apart now won't do us any good. We're a part of this, and there's no getting away from it. All we can do — all I can do — is try to make sure things don't go the same way they did before. That means holding myself together. That means preparing, planning, strategizing. That means taking Peeta on as an ally, though I don't think anything could get me to stop trying to protect him. I think we might actually work best that way.
He's right, anyway. I think of the wedding we had for Finnick and Annie, briefly, because that's all I can handle, and how powerful it felt, presenting an image of all of us joyous and seemingly carefree, not held back by fear of the Capitol. If we seem happy, they'll get frustrated, thinking their goal hasn't been achieved. That could be our greatest weapon right now. That, and the element of surprise it could give us. Acting like we aren't bothered by this gives us an opportunity to catch them off-guard in turn, being prepared when it will seem like we weren't. That is, if no one is watching us now. "Even like we think this is just something that happens here," I add. "Not something they did."
The strangest part is the idea of acting like we're friends. We've been plenty of things to each other, but I'm not sure that's one we've ever quite managed. It'll be worth it, though. Just having him in my life would be.