Aftermath

[fuelforthefire]

It takes hours for the news crews to give up and go home, their chance of getting a good story evaporating as the night starts to set in. The police take longer, eventually locating another mine directly across from the one that was set off. That weighs heavily, knowing that the two tributes from any District were often placed across from each other. I honestly can't remember where we were situated in our first Games, but it still seems like a message. Like someone saying they know I'm here.

When everyone finally clears out it's late, dark except for the moon. My eyes adjust easily. They don't have street lights out this far, just like they'd never used them in Twelve, except in the Square after Thread came. I wait until I'm sure that everyone has cleared out and even then I head off toward my house and not in the direction of Katniss' tree. In case anyone's watching I doesn't want to give away more than I have to. How much have I changed since that first reaping? When I trusted the people around me so easily and didn't think about survival tactics.

A quarter of an hour passes before I head out again, leaving the light and television on inside my house when I go. Not that it'll fool anyone for long, and if there are cameras like in the Arena it won't fool anyone watching, I know. But I have to try to make it safe. The way to Katniss and Prim's house has started to grow over, the path we'd beaten my first few months here disused. That again makes me sad, but I don't have the luxury of that. I need to talk to Katniss, to decide how we're going to keep playing this game. Just when I thought we'd stopped.

I tap at her door and call out her name as I open it. The last thing I want is to end up with an arrow in my shoulder because I scared her.

Comments

[vocalfuel]

They did hurt her, I think, and all of a sudden it's all I can do not to let the words spill from my mouth, or tears from my eyes. I want to scream it, to make sure that everyone knows just how awful these people are, that they'd drop bombs on a little girl who was trying to heal the already-wounded. More than that, I want to tell Peeta, who I know would understand. It's not my secret to tell, though, and if it took Prim over a year to tell me, I can't just spread that information around, not without her say-so first. Besides, it's hardly the worst secret I'm keeping.

"Promise me," I say instead, still close against him, though I keep my chin tipped up so I can meet his gaze. My voice breaks and my eyes are glassy, but I at least manage not to fall apart entirely. I guess everything that's happened today must have tired me out more than I thought. That, or the weight of everything I've kept to myself for so long is wearing me down, but that's not a possibility I want to consider yet. "That whatever happens — if it comes to that, you'll protect her, not me. Please, Peeta."

[fuelforthefire]

Anyone else and I could have argued against it. I could have argued which life was the one worth saving. But between us Prim is truly the innocent. She's the one Katniss volunteered for to save. I meet her eyes and see the desperation in them. My hand moves to curl against her neck and her hair. "I promise."

There's honesty in my eyes, but also pain. This is a promise I'll keep no matter what, even if it kills me to make it. Because I know that without Prim a part of Katniss would die too. "No matter what. If it's you or her, I promise you. I'll protect her."

[vocalfuel]

I believe him. Anyone else, I might not, but I don't think Peeta would tell me that if he didn't mean it, no matter how difficult it might be for him. He knows what losing Prim would do to me. With what I've learned here, it's only the fact that she's still around, and my unwillingness to take that for granted, that's kept me from snapping entirely. I can't put her through that, and I don't want to waste what time we do have. It's been all the more reason to be grateful for what I thought was the lack of a threat here. Now, it's all the more reason to fight back, to make sure it ends, and with Prim safe this time.

"Thank you, " I say, my voice hoarse, not much more than a whisper. Without waiting for a response, I lean in close again, pressing my face into the side of his neck. I could kiss him for it, but when we're trying to be friends, I don't think that would help. Not while I don't know what it would mean. It's just a difficult thing to hold back when it feels like we're in the Arena again, and that was often my best weapon there, something that saved both of our lives, the only comfort I could find. This time, though, the plan is different. Besides, I don't want to hurt him, though that's almost all I've been good for.