Peeta Mellark (
fuelforthefire) wrote2014-10-06 09:39 am
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[For Claudia]
Dinner had been amazing, no matter what Claudia had said or how much she had stressed during cooking. I'd teased her, of course, making faces after my first bite before pronouncing it not only edible but delicious. There would likely be some sort of revenge later, but I didn't mind. things felt easy between us most of the time, like this was how they should be. It was a feeling that I was learning to trust, perhaps more slowly than I should have, but I knew Claudia had her own reservations and reasons for holding back.
I'd offered to do the dishes, but she'd insisted that I go sit on the couch with a glass of wine. I'd agreed, but as the minutes ticked past, I wondered what was going on. Was something wrong? "Claudia?" I called out, half-ready to charge into her bedroom and deal with whatever was keeping her, my mind immediately going to intruders or city mischief. "Are you okay?"
I'd offered to do the dishes, but she'd insisted that I go sit on the couch with a glass of wine. I'd agreed, but as the minutes ticked past, I wondered what was going on. Was something wrong? "Claudia?" I called out, half-ready to charge into her bedroom and deal with whatever was keeping her, my mind immediately going to intruders or city mischief. "Are you okay?"
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My eyes close when he takes off the underwear, not because I don't want to see, but because for a moment it all feels way too real. In, like, a good way, not a scary way. Well, maybe a little scary seeing as I've never done this with anyone but me, but there it is. Every touch and every warm breath of air on my skin feels like heaven and it's a little overwhelming in the moment.
It's certainly enough to make thinking impossible, especially when his hand slides between my legs and I make a sound that I'm pretty sure I've never made before, somewhere between a gasp and a moan and when I can finally open my eyes I see him looking up at me and I'm lost. There's nothing but him and I smile, giggling a little from sheer nerves as I run my fingers through his hair and open my legs a little. Kinda way past being modest now, right?
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He feels incredible, even in his hesitation and I lean back, enjoying the sensations he's making me feel. I don't think there's anything he or I could do to ruin this moment and I find myself arching beneath his touch. My other hand reaches down to guide him, just a little. I mean, I know me rather intimately, after all and if he needs a little assistance I am more than stoked to provide it, you know?
"Don't be shy, babe."
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That feels... really good actually and I groan, arching closer against him as I return the kiss. I can feel him, hard against my skin and I open myself up to him further, pulling my knee up alongside his hip and hooking my ankle behind him. There's a tingling warmth running through me and if my heart were beating any faster I think it would run right out of my chest.
Seriously, why did we wait so long to do this?
I kiss him harder as I wrap my arms around him, I don't know that I want to rush things along, but I know I want more.
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Her encouragement is the kind that I can't ignore. It's hard enough to keep my head without her pulling me back toward her. I shift slightly, but I'm sure there's something we can't manage without, even as much as i want her right now.
"Condom? Something?" I ask it breathlessly, hoping that if she's this prepared she would have thought of some kind of protection.
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"Huh?" It takes a minute for my brain to catch up and start thinking again. "Right, I have those. Hold on."
I don't really want to, but I untangle myself from his warm arms and legs to roll over and reach for the side table. Pulling open the drawer, I grab one of the condoms I have stashed there. Because I was thinking at least that far ahead. When I was thinking.
"Here." I pass the packet to him, not really sure I trust myself to do the honors so to speak.
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There was a session as part of Barton U intake, where they'd handed out condoms and told us all about the safe sex clinic. I'd watched people blow them up and make water balloons and a few days later I had found the clinic and asked how they were used. The demonstration had been with a cucumber, and as much as I'm grateful for that, this is entirely different. I wonder if she can see my hands shake, and when it's on I have to let out a nervous laugh, the breath I had held to that point. I pull her close again, shifting my thigh over hers and kissing her. I can feel the way I press against her and it's more tempting than anything I've experienced.
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I figure there's nothing I can say that will make the situation any more or less awkward so I stay silent until I'm in his arms again, close enough to feel my heartbeat and his. "We okay?"
I hope the answer is yes, because I am beyond ready. I want this, I want him, I want us I want... everything. Too much to put into words. I encourage him with everything I have, my lips, my hands, my leg as I hook it up and around him again. But I don't want to push anything. Not that I'm expecting a no any time soon, but still. It's a big step.
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"We are," I say, my voice higher than I'd expected. It makes me smile, knowing that any desire to seem suave has long since passed me by. That's alright, I'd rather seem totally in love with her and involved in the moment, which I am.
Her leg hooks around my hips and I can't resist any longer. I press forward, slow as I push inside of her a bit at a time. I can't help but gasp at the feel of it, at her beneath and around me.
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"Oh, God..." My breath catches because this is unlike anything else. I mean, a girl can do a lot on her own, you know, but this is something else, this is.... connection. Trust. Love I guess, although I get why some people might do this casually. This is just... I have to assume it's better.
I feel pressure and pleasure in equal amounts, feeling him slide into me like... there are no words, not really. Suddenly we're together in a way that I couldn't have even imagined and honestly? I imagined a lot. It takes a few seconds for me to relax into it, but when I do, my hips relax and I bury my head in his shoulder.
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