[[December - for Effie]]
Jan. 24th, 2015 03:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuelforthefireThey were gone.
I sat for a long time after Prim had fled. I wanted to chase after her but I'd known she could run faster than I could. For now I would leave her, and later I'd go to the house and check in. Make sure that she was okay.
There were things I had to do, people I had to tell. Claudia was the one I thought of first, and then Effie.
How was I going to tell Effie? We haven't spoken in weeks, not since I'd left her at a table at a restaurant. I had to see her now, though, and tell her that Katniss was gone. That Finnick was gone. She deserved to hear that from me, and not learn it when she tried to call or go by and see one of them.
I don't remember how I got to the studio. Walked, I thought, but I wasn't sure. All I knew was they let me in and led me to a couch outside of her dressing room. The show woud be done taping soon, they'd told me, getting me a bottle of water.
All I could do was wait, and then break the news to her. News I didn't want to share with anyone, because saying the words would make it real.
I listened to them cheering and laughing in the studio and I almost laugh. This wasn't the right time, I could do this later.
Standing, I turned to leave, I even made it halfway to the door. But I couldn't leave. I had to tell her. No matter how hard it was to admit, Katniss and Finnick were gone. I had to stay.
I sat for a long time after Prim had fled. I wanted to chase after her but I'd known she could run faster than I could. For now I would leave her, and later I'd go to the house and check in. Make sure that she was okay.
There were things I had to do, people I had to tell. Claudia was the one I thought of first, and then Effie.
How was I going to tell Effie? We haven't spoken in weeks, not since I'd left her at a table at a restaurant. I had to see her now, though, and tell her that Katniss was gone. That Finnick was gone. She deserved to hear that from me, and not learn it when she tried to call or go by and see one of them.
I don't remember how I got to the studio. Walked, I thought, but I wasn't sure. All I knew was they let me in and led me to a couch outside of her dressing room. The show woud be done taping soon, they'd told me, getting me a bottle of water.
All I could do was wait, and then break the news to her. News I didn't want to share with anyone, because saying the words would make it real.
I listened to them cheering and laughing in the studio and I almost laugh. This wasn't the right time, I could do this later.
Standing, I turned to leave, I even made it halfway to the door. But I couldn't leave. I had to tell her. No matter how hard it was to admit, Katniss and Finnick were gone. I had to stay.
no subject
Date: 2015-02-16 10:33 am (UTC)I wish that she was right, that this wasn't possible. I wish that she could make it wrong, that her words could bring them back. "I wish that I was. I really wish that I was. But I'm not."
I scrub my hands through my hair, twisting my fingers in the ends - too long, it's been too long since I've cut it. "She's gone Effie."
no subject
Date: 2015-02-19 04:34 pm (UTC)"You --" her voice breaks and she swallows hard before trying again. "You're sure. You're absolutely sure."
She knows the answer even while she's saying the words. He never would have come here this way if he wasn't, but she has to ask anyway. She has to because the alternative is acceptance and she can't do that. She simply can't.
no subject
Date: 2015-02-23 10:19 pm (UTC)Am I sure? I haven’t gone to her house myself, haven’t searched her out. Calling her phone would do nothing; she often didn’t answer it when she didn’t want to. But I had seen the way Prim looked at me and heard the loss and rage and sorrow in her voice.
I reach out, my arm steadying her. Then I nod, and it’s an admission I’ve never wanted to make. “I’m sure.”